this is the end

my final day of work. here it is.

there is no party. no cake.

frankly that doesn't really surprise me because i think there are only 4 people in this building who actually know my name...and i'm fine with that. i am the anti-networker.

to give a final example of how bored i've been here, i give you my latest forays into ms paint:

so yeah, i guess that's it for now. i imagine i shall be back now and again, and it's totally dependent on if i find more employment that allows me to waste so much time.

party on, internet

survey says....

pretty much since the invention of email, there's been this phenomenon of the online survey. no, not a quiz to find out which celebrity would be your ideal celebrity mom for your celebrity pet...and no, not a survey that you fill out about your eating/shopping/surfing habits so that you MAY win a 50$ gift certificate to pottery barn. i'm talking about one that looks like this:

last person you talked to: your mom

last person you kissed: your mom

last person who saw you naked: you, when you walked in on me on top of your mom

and so on....

originally, this little survey thing seemed to exist solely on an email level. you would receive the survey in your inbox, freshly filled out by your friend, and you would read their answers and think haha, how clever they are!! now it is my turn to show my friends how clever i am! look out, keyboard! it's time for the funny introspective details about ME!

fortunately, this seemed to die out after a few years. i thought it might be because as me and my friends got older, we no longer felt the need to electronically share our favourite moments from Friends.

until this little thing called facebook came along. oh yeah, and blogs.

suddenly, everyone is posting notes with fresh new surveys. ok, not everyone. but some people. frankly, i probably would never have noticed if it wasn't for this pesky amount of free time i've had at work every day. 'noticed' doesn't mean i've actually READ these things, but i've taken note of their existence. ok ok...i do read one once and while, but there's usually a whole lot of skimming going on, and it means i'm either expecting something funny cuz the author is a funny person, or i'm waiting for something 'funny' cuz it's just so banal it becomes absurd.

now i'm not sure if i'm actually knocking people who still fill these things out. ok, maybe i am, but i don't intend to be mean, i just want to analyze why. i do understand the value of wasting some time and attempting to be creative on some level without actually having to construct complete sentences. perhaps what i find- oh, let's call it, interesting, or at least, 'of note' - is why these peoplethink that we are actually curious about these useless facts?

passively posting something on your personal webspace is sure as hell a lot less obnoxious than stuffing someone's inbox full of these things, for sure, and yet i must wonder...what is the thought process behind a 28 year old declaring to the world that their favourite caffeinated beverage is a cappuccino? if they really want to let people know these things, why not start writing your memoir? as you go through your life on paper, you'll hopefully come to recognize what is worth describing (ie. losing your virginity) and what's boring (what's on your desk right now).

i realize that it's pretty hypocritical to talk about this on MY own personal webspace...a place where i post my opinions and likes and dislikes. however, i have yet to come across one of those surveys that is entirely justifiable as something that must be shared with the world, even if the 'world' means 2 readers...one of whom is me, wondering why i'm reading this stuff. maybe if i want to date you, THEN i'll want to know that the underpants that you are currently wearing have bears on them. bears holding baseball bats. hehe. you are so cute. let's date.

however, that one survery where you push shuffle on your mp3 player and each song represents a scene in the movie of your life is pretty cool, i gotta admit.

the scene where i meet your mom: 'love in an elevator'

give peas a chance

the reason that i started this blog is soon coming to an end...

my boss gave me my 2 weeks notice last friday. not because i suck, but because the funding has dried up for this position.

hrm.

luckily i have the event of moving apartments to keep me busy immediately after my last day of work.

the following week, i have the recording of an album to keep me busy.

the week after that, i have the fear of poverty to keep my mind occupied.

wouldn't paris hilton be so much less of a douche if she had the fear of where her next meal shall come looming over her head? instead of always thinking, "that's shiny. i like it. can i fuck it?" she'd be all, "wow, cheese is expensive. i guess it shall be a butter sandwich for me today."

thus concludes the lesson.

someone is a genius

this is public art in its highest form:

radio free canada

i have mentioned before that the only station i listen to at work is the CBC. there are many explanations for this choice. most importantly, i once made the very ill-advised choice to go to post-grad school for radio broadcasting. several months after 'graduation' (ie. there was no way i was going to go to that ceremony, particularly because the program director displayed a complete inability or interest in actually giving me my certificate for completing the course. i still do not have that useless piece of paper, and i never shall because i refuse to contact that person again and remind myself that i wasted that much time. this shall only cause a problem if i ever do actually need that piece of paper for a job...my solution shall probably be to just remove those 8 months of my life from my resume).

anyhoo, that course caused a deep-seated loathing for commercial radio. through schooling that was supposed to instill respect and skill for a dying medium, they managed to teach me that commercial radio is a more vacuous and generic form of media than Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, and Cosmo Girl magazines combined.

henceforth: public radio forevermore.

the biggest drawback of my choice is that the CBC seems to have 2 major themes: global warming, and Neil Flambe. i am certainly interested in global warming and the ways in which i can try to prevent it, but essentially every feature has a thesis given by experts: it doesn't matter what you do as an individual cuz the government licks industrial bum holes and China doesn't care, anyways, so basically don't bother having kids cuz they will be raised in a world of pain. YAY.

their antidote to such doom and gloom is this annoying feature about some harry potter rip off that's supposed to spark debate and discussion about children's novels. the only problem is that it's mentioned 20 times a day by this annoying host who penned the thing, and narrated by this annoying helium voiced female. they once spent a MONTH doing a poll about what dish the young chef boy should prepare. a MONTH about ONE THING. a thing related to FOOD... not the way he should die, or who his first love interest should be, or how he shall come to realize his achilles heel. the banality of the story does nothing to take my mind off slowly roasting to death while baby polar bears weep.

despite the annoying gulf between their programming choices, i will still listen to the CBC cuz they do manage to squeeze in worthwhile music and opinions once and a while. it's sure as hell of a lot better than hearing finger eleven's 'paralyzer' twenty times a day. actually, i still have to listen to paralyzer due to my office mate's love of chum fm, and the fact that she TURNS THE VOLUME WAY UP whenever that song comes on and dances in her seat.

in case you're confused, that is a photographic representation of a rainbow butt-ed monkey pooping on finger eleven.

i do not want what i haven't got

inexplicably, there is a huge scrawl of blue pen on the lower hip portion of the light blue dress i'm currently wearing. i discovered it while looking in the mirror in the bathroom at work this morning.

the scrawl is the size of a banana...and not one of those cute little baby bananas.

i can think of 3 explanations for the banana scrawl:

1. the large purse i sling over my shoulder to walk to work everyday somehow developed a magical hole and a magical pen poked out of the hole and scrawled all the way to work. .

2. there was an open house at my place last night (cuz we're moving to somewhere that is not infested by mice, earwigs, spiders, ants, millipedes, and criminals sept. 1). i was not present at this open house. a prospective tenant with an odd penchant for defacement must've stepped into my slanty walk-in closet and scrawled to her/his heart's content.

3. the scrawl has been there for a real long time and i just haven't noticed.

which is the most plausible explanation?

well, when examining my purse now, there is no hole in the sturdy leather, and the only pen in my bag is safely unclicked and unleaky. explanation number 2 seems rather ridiculous, honestly. and number 3?

i'm not a slob or anything, but this is most likely the answer. it still doesn't explain how it happened, initially, but, yeah, i've never let a banana scrawl stand between me and a good time.

there's a lesson in all of this:

never buy anything expensive, cuz i really couldn't be bothered by this giant banana stain on the side of my dress that shall very likely never washed out, cuz i bought it on sale for 10$ at Stitches...or was it Sirens...or Urban Planet....or was it Urban Behaviour?

buying cheap crappy sweat shop clothing is probably the closest i shall ever come to the anti-materialist philosophy of buddhism.

i certainly did not let this material possession own ME.

sexy hamburger

i am so freaking excited for this movie:

the fact that the only movie i have seen in theatres so far this summer is Knocked Up, and Superbad is the only other movie i plan to see, means perhaps that i am an 18 year old male.

nothin' wrong with that, i think.