so i was just checking up on the visitor statistics of my website (not this blog thing...my actual site...and no, i will not link it here, cuz if you're reading this blog, i hope you already know who i am, and if you know who i am, you know what my website is) and under 'search query report', there are a large number of the normal searches, ie. searches of my name or my bands - yes yes, everything seems to be in order - and then....
'have you seen this weirdo'.
yes, apparently someone typed in 'have you seen this weirdo' in their search engine, and my site popped up.
i can't help but feel like the internet itself is mocking me.
how rude.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
goooooood morning mediocrity
this saddens me so.
i really should be defending this man instead of just linking to a mean article that ridicules and berates his current career. why? because this is the man that made my YEAR when he chose to descend from his lofty mega-celebrity world to make one of a million trillion fans feel special.
i spent my late childhood/tweens envisioning any sort of encounter with this guy. if my 11 year old self knew that one day this man would have the patience and kindness to hold several conversations with me in one night...a night which had him surrounded by many, many other fawning robin-attention wanters...allowing me to take several pictures with him...allowing me to tell him where i worked, and actually looking interested in what i was saying, and promising to visit...allowing me to give him my cell phone and greeting my friend on the phone by talking in a funny russian accent...telling my friend, in the funny russian accent, that I was BEAUTIFUL...and kissing me on the cheek, TWICE...that 11 year old would've freaked.
oh, but if i could tell that 11 year old that several days later this man would make good on his promise and actually take TIME OUT OF HIS DAY TO VISIT ME AT WORK...sneaking up to me in his giant black puffy coat and low profile baseball cap to whisper, "see? I told you I would visit." making my 26 year old body hop up and down on the spot as if i had just been given a pony...and then ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT STUFF THAT I LIKED - standing close to me and staring with his twinkly blue piercing eyes that i have watched and worshipped on giant screens, turning me into a giant puddle of blabbering crap...that 11 year old would have pooped her pants and passed out on the floor.
several weeks later, my new boyfriend checked himself into rehab, and i heard a horrible story about him making out w/ a 20 year old in a club surrounded by whiskey shots and barfing in the bathroom.
i cannot help but think if, when he asked me to recommend a CD to buy in that crap music section, if it had just been a month or so later, when MY CD would've been on the shelf, i could've shoved that cd in his hands. he would've gone home and listened to it, perhaps, and then chosen to contact me at the email address provided on the sleeve, and then we could have become friends, and somehow, during this budding friendship, i could've given him some advice, like 'DO NOT STAR IN THE STUPID MARRIAGE PRIEST MOVIE. you do not need another excuse to do your tired old evangelist/healer routine. call up terry gilliam and make another Fisher King.' and he would say, 'yes joan, you are absolutely right, and you are very beautiful. please come visit me in san francisco and we will go play with the hippies in golden gate park.'
oh robin, where did we go wrong?
i really should be defending this man instead of just linking to a mean article that ridicules and berates his current career. why? because this is the man that made my YEAR when he chose to descend from his lofty mega-celebrity world to make one of a million trillion fans feel special.
i spent my late childhood/tweens envisioning any sort of encounter with this guy. if my 11 year old self knew that one day this man would have the patience and kindness to hold several conversations with me in one night...a night which had him surrounded by many, many other fawning robin-attention wanters...allowing me to take several pictures with him...allowing me to tell him where i worked, and actually looking interested in what i was saying, and promising to visit...allowing me to give him my cell phone and greeting my friend on the phone by talking in a funny russian accent...telling my friend, in the funny russian accent, that I was BEAUTIFUL...and kissing me on the cheek, TWICE...that 11 year old would've freaked.
oh, but if i could tell that 11 year old that several days later this man would make good on his promise and actually take TIME OUT OF HIS DAY TO VISIT ME AT WORK...sneaking up to me in his giant black puffy coat and low profile baseball cap to whisper, "see? I told you I would visit." making my 26 year old body hop up and down on the spot as if i had just been given a pony...and then ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT STUFF THAT I LIKED - standing close to me and staring with his twinkly blue piercing eyes that i have watched and worshipped on giant screens, turning me into a giant puddle of blabbering crap...that 11 year old would have pooped her pants and passed out on the floor.
several weeks later, my new boyfriend checked himself into rehab, and i heard a horrible story about him making out w/ a 20 year old in a club surrounded by whiskey shots and barfing in the bathroom.
i cannot help but think if, when he asked me to recommend a CD to buy in that crap music section, if it had just been a month or so later, when MY CD would've been on the shelf, i could've shoved that cd in his hands. he would've gone home and listened to it, perhaps, and then chosen to contact me at the email address provided on the sleeve, and then we could have become friends, and somehow, during this budding friendship, i could've given him some advice, like 'DO NOT STAR IN THE STUPID MARRIAGE PRIEST MOVIE. you do not need another excuse to do your tired old evangelist/healer routine. call up terry gilliam and make another Fisher King.' and he would say, 'yes joan, you are absolutely right, and you are very beautiful. please come visit me in san francisco and we will go play with the hippies in golden gate park.'
oh robin, where did we go wrong?
Monday, July 16, 2007
beet it
the following is being written on a sort of hollow feeling stomach, so i apologize for any rambly disjointedness contained within:
in support of my man friend's desire to lose some weight, i made the decision to go on a special '3 day diet' along with him, cuz i figured eating half a deliscio pizza in front of his face while he ate 1/2 a cup of tuna on bread just wasn't very nice. i was also curious as to how my body would respond to a diet.
i have never actually been on a diet. when i first gained enough weight when i was 15 to be sort of uncomfortable in the pants cuz my metabolism decided to slow down SLIGHTLY, i do recall trying to improve upon my eating habits (ie. 1/4 of a bag of double chocolate cookies instead of 3/4). i definitely did the sex and the city miranda throwing the cake in the garbage, then thinking about picking the cake out of the garbage, then throwing old meat on top of it to stop my cake binge. i've definitely experienced small fluctuations in the past decade or so, but nothing more than 15 pounds. i only ever managed the 15 lb. fluctuation due to a trip with friends to denmark when we were 16 when we all decided to eat ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. haven't eaten in half an hour? here, let's melt this chocolate bar on this piece of bread! oh, what's this? a chocolate bar called 'Ritter Sport'? 'Sport' must mean low fat! chow down, ladies!
anyhoo, here i am at age 27 and i can still say i'm doing pretty well, although i have a feeling an age related metabolistic wall is coming up soon enough, and honestly, the worst part of gaining weight, aside from the whole ego-crushing shame and hatred of yourself in the mirrors or in pictures, is just having to buy new clothes. i cannot afford to buy new clothes.
so like i said, i was curious as to how my body would respond. it's not a crazy insane starvation diet...it's actually pretty healthy, it's just about portion control and the types of foods you are eating during the 3 days.
it's all good except that last night i had to eat BEETS. aside from maybe tasting a pickled beet once in my life, i have successfully avoided this unnaturally purple vegetable. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but the moment i bit in, i knew i was in it for the long haul (ie. the next 2 days).
i'm half way through day 2 now, and despite eating a larger breakfast than normal, and a sort of decent lunch, my insides feel like a cave. the portion control aspect of this diet does make me appreciate how wasteful i am with food, and how i take for granted all the various flavours and tastes in which i indulge every day.
honestly, what will really get me through this is not the potential feeling of putting on my tightest jeans and being able to sit down without flashing half my bum...it will actually be the thought of all those poor Survivor contestants that have had to starve throughout the seasons. i get a whole can of tuna and some soda crackers, and feel all depressed about the pitiful meal which i am about to consume. meanwhile, jeff probst would probably auction off that meal to a starving survivor for 50$ or something.
i should probably just be thinking of the starving children in Africa, but, well, they're right when they say that reality tv is ruining society.
in support of my man friend's desire to lose some weight, i made the decision to go on a special '3 day diet' along with him, cuz i figured eating half a deliscio pizza in front of his face while he ate 1/2 a cup of tuna on bread just wasn't very nice. i was also curious as to how my body would respond to a diet.
i have never actually been on a diet. when i first gained enough weight when i was 15 to be sort of uncomfortable in the pants cuz my metabolism decided to slow down SLIGHTLY, i do recall trying to improve upon my eating habits (ie. 1/4 of a bag of double chocolate cookies instead of 3/4). i definitely did the sex and the city miranda throwing the cake in the garbage, then thinking about picking the cake out of the garbage, then throwing old meat on top of it to stop my cake binge. i've definitely experienced small fluctuations in the past decade or so, but nothing more than 15 pounds. i only ever managed the 15 lb. fluctuation due to a trip with friends to denmark when we were 16 when we all decided to eat ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. haven't eaten in half an hour? here, let's melt this chocolate bar on this piece of bread! oh, what's this? a chocolate bar called 'Ritter Sport'? 'Sport' must mean low fat! chow down, ladies!
anyhoo, here i am at age 27 and i can still say i'm doing pretty well, although i have a feeling an age related metabolistic wall is coming up soon enough, and honestly, the worst part of gaining weight, aside from the whole ego-crushing shame and hatred of yourself in the mirrors or in pictures, is just having to buy new clothes. i cannot afford to buy new clothes.
so like i said, i was curious as to how my body would respond. it's not a crazy insane starvation diet...it's actually pretty healthy, it's just about portion control and the types of foods you are eating during the 3 days.
it's all good except that last night i had to eat BEETS. aside from maybe tasting a pickled beet once in my life, i have successfully avoided this unnaturally purple vegetable. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but the moment i bit in, i knew i was in it for the long haul (ie. the next 2 days).
i'm half way through day 2 now, and despite eating a larger breakfast than normal, and a sort of decent lunch, my insides feel like a cave. the portion control aspect of this diet does make me appreciate how wasteful i am with food, and how i take for granted all the various flavours and tastes in which i indulge every day.
honestly, what will really get me through this is not the potential feeling of putting on my tightest jeans and being able to sit down without flashing half my bum...it will actually be the thought of all those poor Survivor contestants that have had to starve throughout the seasons. i get a whole can of tuna and some soda crackers, and feel all depressed about the pitiful meal which i am about to consume. meanwhile, jeff probst would probably auction off that meal to a starving survivor for 50$ or something.
i should probably just be thinking of the starving children in Africa, but, well, they're right when they say that reality tv is ruining society.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
i kind of feel like tooting my own horn right now.
i was playing a show on friday, and a particularly rowdy bunch at the front seemed to be enjoying themselves verily.
me - "this next one will be our last song."
rowdy dudes - "ENCORE!"
me - "well, we're about to play another song, so it is an encore, guys.... *pause*... HA! I BOGGED YOU DOWN IN SEMANTICS!"
honestly, i'm just impressed with myself that after two pints and my usual inability to string together proper non-awkward statements on stage (i have been known to say such things as "masturbating monkeys...always a good time." with little to no reason) that i managed to use such a fancy word as 'semantics' in a correct context.
go me.
i was playing a show on friday, and a particularly rowdy bunch at the front seemed to be enjoying themselves verily.
me - "this next one will be our last song."
rowdy dudes - "ENCORE!"
me - "well, we're about to play another song, so it is an encore, guys.... *pause*... HA! I BOGGED YOU DOWN IN SEMANTICS!"
honestly, i'm just impressed with myself that after two pints and my usual inability to string together proper non-awkward statements on stage (i have been known to say such things as "masturbating monkeys...always a good time." with little to no reason) that i managed to use such a fancy word as 'semantics' in a correct context.
go me.
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