i just visited one of my oft-visited pages to kill time at work, perezhilton.com, and came across this.
i don't know what to think. how can i handle having my future husband wedged between posts about kelly clarkson and donatella versace? and perez recommends one of my most hated songs of joel, nowhere with you. barf me a river. i hate that this is the song that is bringing him notoriety.
the truth is, i think i am falling out of love with joel.
i have been in love with him since the first time i saw him in kingston, playing at the now defunct Shot. i had seen his video 'maybe we should just go home' a couple of times and decided to check out the cute boy with the good song. as soon as i saw him amongst the crowd i got a bit butterfly-y. i decided to go say something to him before he started his set. i walked up to the stage (which was a foot off the floor) while he was setting up, and drawing a total blank, and being THIS close to his skinny joel face, i said, 'hi joel, i've always wanted to say this to someone before they start a show: you better not suck.' then i probably turned beat red as he bashfully (or politely) laughed, and i ran away. it goes without saying, but the following show was awesome, and my love affair began.
i then saw him a bunch more times, culminating in one of the best shows of my life...jan 2005 at the horseshoe. i staked out my spot RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE MIC before the opener even started. the spades opened, which made the night even better, as james mckenty is sort of a poor man's joel. despite the girl behind me elbowing me in the eye during the emergency's whole set, continuously yelling, "play thrush hermit!! WOOW OOO!" *elbow to my boob* till eventually i CONFRONTED her (something quite rare for me ,but i told bitch to back off as i had been standing there already for 2 hours and i would be damned if she got between me and joel's distortion pedals, and maybe she should try and listen to something joel's recorded w/in the last 5 years instead of just thrush hermit, which is also good, of course, but FUCK). the show was amazing, though...the last of a real long tour in support of truthfully, truthfully.
after the show i waited around and got to talk to him, and got a picture!
AAAAAA! we match! he apologized for being sweaty when he put his arm around me (GAH! SWOON!) and we joked about the stupid woo woo thrush hermit girl, as he was only 2 feet away from me for the entire show, so heard her just as clearly. we were LIKE THIS, joel and i. my friends can attest to the fact that my demeanor usually operates at a low hum at all times...joel is the only person place or thing, aside from baby animals, that causes me to behave in the manner of an 11 year old girl.
the obsession got to the point that a friend of a friend who wrote for Chart magazine wrote the following :
"During a concert in Toronto, their frantic screams overwhelmed the polite applause, and one fan mentioned that she would be prepared to marry him on sight."
...i was that fan. my obsession made it into a national music magazine. (read the article here)
and then la de da came out, and it was ok. meh. that's ok, i don't like unplugged records much anyways. once he's back with the emergency, he can make another 'down at the khyber', right? then the DVD came out, and despite the joel-porn quotient (joel camping! joel being funny! joel dancing! joel SWIMMING!) the bonus cd tracks, produced by big sugar's gordie johnson, were, well, sucky. it's where that awful 'nowhere with you' song came from.
oh well, the new cd will be good, right?
gordie johnson produced it. fucko.
i heard a couple of tracks on the cbc from the new album. the first single, fashionable people, is craptacular. i can't take it. maybe if it was produced better? different chorus? something?
some people say the new album, ashtray rock, is brilliant. they love it. but i can't even bring myself to buy it. i will, eventually, but not yet. maybe i've got the, 'oh, my favourite band is gaining in popularity, so fuck 'em' disease...but i think it goes deeper than that.
joel is apparently now MARRIED, to his long time girlfriend becky something or other. i even heard him gush about her whilst being interviewed on the cbc. how COULd you, joel?? we had something special. remember the 'better not suck' time? the 'woowoo thrush sorry i'm sweaty time'? the chart time? that was ME, joel. marry ME!
also, he cut his shaggy hair. my inner 11 year old does not go into NKOTB overdrive once the hair is gone.
oh joel...maybe once becky grows tired of being married to a rockstar, you grow your hair out, drop johnson as your producer, and make another 'down at the khyber'...then we can be what we were meant to be.
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