beet it

the following is being written on a sort of hollow feeling stomach, so i apologize for any rambly disjointedness contained within:

in support of my man friend's desire to lose some weight, i made the decision to go on a special '3 day diet' along with him, cuz i figured eating half a deliscio pizza in front of his face while he ate 1/2 a cup of tuna on bread just wasn't very nice. i was also curious as to how my body would respond to a diet.

i have never actually been on a diet. when i first gained enough weight when i was 15 to be sort of uncomfortable in the pants cuz my metabolism decided to slow down SLIGHTLY, i do recall trying to improve upon my eating habits (ie. 1/4 of a bag of double chocolate cookies instead of 3/4). i definitely did the sex and the city miranda throwing the cake in the garbage, then thinking about picking the cake out of the garbage, then throwing old meat on top of it to stop my cake binge. i've definitely experienced small fluctuations in the past decade or so, but nothing more than 15 pounds. i only ever managed the 15 lb. fluctuation due to a trip with friends to denmark when we were 16 when we all decided to eat ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. haven't eaten in half an hour? here, let's melt this chocolate bar on this piece of bread! oh, what's this? a chocolate bar called 'Ritter Sport'? 'Sport' must mean low fat! chow down, ladies!

anyhoo, here i am at age 27 and i can still say i'm doing pretty well, although i have a feeling an age related metabolistic wall is coming up soon enough, and honestly, the worst part of gaining weight, aside from the whole ego-crushing shame and hatred of yourself in the mirrors or in pictures, is just having to buy new clothes. i cannot afford to buy new clothes.

so like i said, i was curious as to how my body would respond. it's not a crazy insane starvation diet...it's actually pretty healthy, it's just about portion control and the types of foods you are eating during the 3 days.

it's all good except that last night i had to eat BEETS. aside from maybe tasting a pickled beet once in my life, i have successfully avoided this unnaturally purple vegetable. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but the moment i bit in, i knew i was in it for the long haul (ie. the next 2 days).

i'm half way through day 2 now, and despite eating a larger breakfast than normal, and a sort of decent lunch, my insides feel like a cave. the portion control aspect of this diet does make me appreciate how wasteful i am with food, and how i take for granted all the various flavours and tastes in which i indulge every day.

honestly, what will really get me through this is not the potential feeling of putting on my tightest jeans and being able to sit down without flashing half my bum...it will actually be the thought of all those poor Survivor contestants that have had to starve throughout the seasons. i get a whole can of tuna and some soda crackers, and feel all depressed about the pitiful meal which i am about to consume. meanwhile, jeff probst would probably auction off that meal to a starving survivor for 50$ or something.

i should probably just be thinking of the starving children in Africa, but, well, they're right when they say that reality tv is ruining society.